Anxiety has been a constant presence in my life. From separation anxiety to agoraphobia, I’ve spent 25 years plagued by panic attacks and debilitating fears that have stopped me living my life to the fullest, always full of nervous energy over what it will morph into next. Both medication and therapy have been hugely helpful, but having accepted that it’s always going to be a condition that I’m going to struggle with in one way or another, I’m always on the lookout for new and innovative ways to provide relief.
At the time we were all confused. It just seemed like she was completely high off her face or needed to be locked up in a mental asylum. But after struggling with various deists era for many years - I get it. I’ve even been there myself sometimes, moments from doing something mid massively regret (and a few times actually gone through with it).
The last few months have certainly brought a lot to light for me. I’ve witnessed my strength and my weakness, my fragility as a human being and the insane twists and often unpredictable turns of the human mind. They have taught me a lot too; about myself, about the intricacies of mental illness and about the unnoticed plight of those around us who struggle with different diseases and disorders that often go undiscussed.
Growing up, I genuinely thought I was a freak (don’t we all?) because I was very different from all of my friends. I know we all go through feelings of uncertainty, feeling like we don’t quite belong, but this wasn’t a case of growing pains or mistaken identity. Unknown to both myself and my family for years, I was suffering with bouts of severe anxiety. Unfortunately for me it was always mislabelled as home sickness or even being overly dramatic, but I knew that something was seriously wrong with me.
It’s certainly been a while since I’ve even had a slight inclination to write anything online. A tough few months in more ways than one, writing has been, quite frankly, the last thing on my mind - choosing instead to focus on keeping myself sane and, at times, alive.
Finally - a post featuring my favourite pics from Prague! Sorry it's been a few weeks in the making but my workload has been a bit hectic recently and the blog had to be put on the back burner. Never mind that - here they are!